Go All 1N Podcast
Go All 1N Podcast: All 1N. Every Day. No Excuses.
Hosted by a driven blue-collar entrepreneur, Jake Fine and a Notre Dame football alumnus and NFL veteran turned business leader, Braxston Cave, this podcast is for those who know the value of hard work, resilience, and going all in on what matters most. From the RV factory floor to the football field and beyond, we uncover the stories, strategies, and mindsets of those who hustle to turn challenges into opportunities and dreams into reality.
Powered by the Be Better Brand, each episode delivers authentic conversations, actionable insights, and inspiring guests who prove that greatness is built, not given.
Subscribe now and join us as we GO ALL 1N—because better is always possible.
Go All 1N Podcast
Be the Leader They Need
EP. 83 Be the Leader They Need
The blueprint you create today becomes the foundation your children build upon tomorrow. Are you modeling the strength, faith, and discipline you hope to see in them?
Jake Fine and Braxston Cave dive deep into the profound responsibility of family leadership, revealing how your daily actions speak volumes more than your words ever could. Your children aren't just hearing your advice—they're observing how you treat your spouse, manage stress, prioritize time, and handle both successes and failures. This observation becomes their definition of adulthood and their expectation of what relationships should look like.
We explore the danger of outsourcing parental influence to technology and social media, and why genuine presence matters more than productivity or perfection. Braxston shares personal stories about his family's dinner table traditions, discipline approaches that focus on meaningful eye contact, and the sobering realization that children notice when you're not fully engaged. The conversation includes practical wisdom about setting standards that you yourself live up to, creating intentional family moments, and understanding that your legacy isn't measured by what you leave FOR your children, but what you build IN them.
Whether you're a parent, guardian, or someone who influences young lives, this episode will challenge you to examine whether you're creating a life worthy of being copied. Because one day, your children will tell stories about how you raised them—what story are you writing today? Listen, reflect, and commit to being the leader your family needs.
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Welcome back to the Go All In podcast. I'm Jake Fine.
Speaker 2:And I'm Braxton Cave and on today's episode we've titled this one the Leader your Kids and Family Need. And I'll be honest, I mean I love this topic. This is a top three for me. But, as you guys know, as I roll, today's power five, from my point of view, starts with number one. Your family is watching how you love, how you work and how you lead. I think the big things here, you know they don't just hear what you say, they see how you live. You know more is caught than taught and you know a big one on this is they. They're paying attention to the way you treat your spouse, your team. They pay attention to your habits. You know it's shaping their definition of of manhood, for your boys and for your daughter, and especially in my case, right, it's, it's shaping her expectation of what a man is. And you know, another piece along that for our kids, like my wife and I are very intentional about, like holding hands and hugging, kissing, flirting in front of the kids Um, because that's the example we want to set.
Speaker 2:Like that's the expectation of you know mom and dad truly love each other and, uh, I think that goes a long way in in raising children and I think that goes a long way in raising children, and I think it all goes to say like you're the first example of what strength, faith and discipline look like in real life, right, not through social media or TV or whatever it may be, but like you're the example for them every single day. Number two don't outsource your influence to the internet. Model it in your home and kind of back to that same conversation, right, it's Instagram reels, motivational quotes aren't raising your kids. I think it's great if that's a source that you use to to learn, to listen, to motivate, but if that's all you're relying on to raise and grow up your kids, that's not the influence that you want. And I think it's important for us to all just be cognizant and aware of not being more focused on getting likes on social media, over giving leadership at the dinner table, and a big thing for us is every night at dinner.
Speaker 2:Obviously, I travel a lot for work, but when I'm home, we eat as a family at the dinner table. Every night we go around. One of the kids will pray and then we always do our happies and crappies. What was the best day, best part of your day? What was the best day, best part of your day? What was the worst part?
Speaker 2:And it kind of opens up the door of opportunity for us to talk through what the kids are dealing with what excites them and then also what was a letdown, and I just believe that influence starts in your house and not on your feed, if you can do both right. We've talked about this before. There's a lot of social media influencers out there that are doing a great job of showing how they live their life with their families and making family number one and being an example of that. I think that's awesome. A lot of people also fall into the trap of focusing more on the clicks and the views versus really living by the content that they're trying to create.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sal Frisella.
Speaker 2:He does the best with it.
Speaker 1:I feel like and I know you feel that way too Shout out to Sal.
Speaker 2:Yep. Number three the standard you live by becomes their expectation of manhood and leadership. Number three the standard you live by becomes their expectation of manhood and leadership. This one's pretty simple, right it's if you cut corners, they'll normalize mediocrity. If you pursue discipline, they'll chase excellence.
Speaker 2:It's the standard that you set becomes their foundation, and so the higher you set it, that bar, the more that they're going to chase and have an expectation to live to. And I think that's very, very important. And I'll add in this disclaimer Don't set a standard or an expectation for your kids to live up to that you're not going to live up to yourself 100%.
Speaker 2:Nothing drives me more crazy than you know. My boys are starting to get into baseball, right, and seeing the dads that are there like yelling at, well, these boys are young, right, eight years old and under, and there's these dads out of shape. You know, maybe they were great when they were in little league or high school, but they're out of shape, yelling at their kids, trying to coach them from the stands. I'm like dude come on what do?
Speaker 3:you, oh yeah, that's all what you're trying to teach little little timmy.
Speaker 2:You're not. I don't see that in you and that just personally drives me bonkers to see that. Um, let's see number four. They need your eye contact more than your wi-fi, and so that one just leads into like your presence contact more than your wifi, and so to that one just leads into like your presence matters more than your productivity. You know, anytime, you know my kids do something wrong, break the rules, whatever it may be right, you know we'll, they'll sit in timeout, and when they come out of timeout, the number one thing that's most important to me is it's not just like, hey, you're out of timeout, it's we're going to have a conversation. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And it's look me in my eyes and that's really hard for kids to do.
Speaker 1:You actually meant it when you looked at me like that. I mean, I felt it. I felt it, I mean I sometimes have to say it like four or five times, but I'll be like Asa.
Speaker 2:Look in my eyes. Isn't that crazy?
Speaker 1:I'm like no they always look away. Even Andrew does that.
Speaker 2:It's crazy and part of it is like I think it that's probably just a natural reaction.
Speaker 2:I think it breaks them of that habit of when maybe they feel guilt or shame to like look away or try to hide. And so we lock eye contact, we have a conversation, I always give them a hug and then you know we're on to living life again. But I think the eye contact piece is so important. Oh, yeah, piece is so important. And you know again, I've said this many, many times but my wife is very good at like the intentionality around, like screen time. So you know it's that's a constant reminder for me of like putting my phone away, being intentional spending time with the kids. You know, I I got home from from being out of town for a few days. Yesterday, as soon as I walked in the door, copeland runs up to me. He's like hey, dad, can we build Legos? I'm like absolutely bud.
Speaker 2:So you know phones away, spending time just hanging out with him.
Speaker 1:Being present.
Speaker 2:You know. Another example of this one is was at Copeland's baseball game a few weeks ago and he was out in the field and doing his thing. I was talking to one of the other parents. Him and I were standing in the dugout. We're talking about the boys and the guy I was talking to him and I played together in high school, and so we're talking about hey, this is pretty cool, they're the same age, they gonna come up together and and after the game, copeland came up to me and he was like dad, why weren't you watching me? And I'm like I was, buddy, what are you talking about? He's like no, you were talking to the other dad. And I'm like, yeah, I was talking about you. But all that to say like they're always watching, yep, and paying attention. Is mom and dad watching?
Speaker 2:um because that's what means the most of them right now like that.
Speaker 2:It won't be like that forever yeah and so taking advantage of these moments where, like you, just being there and watching them is the most important thing it's pretty cool and it doesn't last forever. Um, and the last one here I put in was attention is one of the most powerful forms of affirmation, and so sometimes you don't even have to say anything, but the fact that you were there paying attention, regardless of what. That doesn't have to be baseball, obviously, but whatever it may be just the mere fact of presence and attention can say a thousand words. And then, last here, number five, is your life is their blueprint, so you need to make sure you build something worthy of being copied, and so one day, your kids will lead a home or a team or a business, and they'll draw from your example that you set for them over X number of years, and I love this. I was watching a clip the other day and it talked about how you know. One day, your kids will tell stories to other people about how you raised them, and I mean I think we all do that oh yeah, we have tons of stories of
Speaker 2:you. You don't remember everything, but there are some key things that you do remember of of being raised and so, um, even from like the simple things, I literally was just telling my kids yesterday after they got haircuts, like I'd rub the back of their head after the boys get a fresh fade. You know that prickly feeling. My dad used to do that to me every time I'd get a haircut, so I was telling them about that story.
Speaker 2:But the other idea that I want people to be thinking about is that your legacy isn't what you leave for them, it's what you build in them, and I think a lot of times people will feel like their legacy are the things that they leave behind to their kids Money, cars, house, whatever but to me, the traits and the characteristics that you build within your kids is the greatest legacy.
Speaker 2:Like nothing like pumps me up more than when you know cope will do something at school or someone will be like he, like I guess correlating like when he does something awesome and they're like he's so much like you. And it goes both ways, because I tell people all the time like copeland's the carbon copy of me in all the best and worst ways, but when you hear some of the good things. It's so reaffirming that you are doing the right thing. The last thing here is build with intention and live a life that they can model with pride pride, right. I think there's a lot of time we can. We could probably do a whole episode on like some of the characteristics or habits that we have that we learned from our parents Maybe some of those we love and we're thankful for, and some of them not so much and I think that's part of. I posted a picture on my Instagram story this morning about.
Speaker 2:This is probably hard for me to explain, but basically it's like a picture of a son and a dad and basically they're built out of puzzle pieces and it's like the son has basically got all his full body and the dad's missing a bunch of puzzle pieces because he's given them all to his son and I think that that's what it's all them all to his son. And you know, I think that that's what it's all about. Is a dad or a mom, right? It's giving all those hopefully those good puzzle pieces to your kids and holding on to and not passing down to generations of the things that you struggle with. Right, they're great lessons learned, but things that you don't want your kids to have to deal with. So that's my power five today.
Speaker 1:Well, to add into cause, I have a different, you know. You know I'm basically like a step parent, you know, view Cause, you know, with her son not, basically no.
Speaker 1:I am, yeah, sorry, coming from that point of view, you know, with her son not basically. No, I am, yeah, sorry, um, coming from that point of view, you know, I look at. I'll just use, you know, baseball, for example. You know, when coaching him, I remember when I played. Yes, I'm going to listen to my, my dad. Yes, I listen to my coaches, but I remember everything. My dad said that I was doing so. So, with him, I understand he's going to listen to his dad, but there's some things that I need to add in and I don't want to confuse him, you know. Okay, should I listen to him or should I want that kind of situation? So I'm like, yes, your dad's correct on this part, but you need to also look into this. But make sure you always cause you've even told me this make sure you always start with something Okay, that was good, but this is also what you did wrong.
Speaker 1:So just don't always come out negative and say you did this wrong and that's it, because they're going to go back and say, okay, yeah, this was great yeah.
Speaker 2:But hey, this is how we could do it even better.
Speaker 1:Yes, so, and you know with them, seeing everything that you do, you know with my brand, I mean this dude, he, that is like his first thing. He writes on everything, like his art folder. Recently he put you know, be better. He has a calendar in his room. At the top of it it says be better. I mean he wears the hoodie all the time and he, you know, he wears the t-shirt at school and all that. So it's. They see you doing everything and just you know, giving them that extra bonus stuff on top of what his dad's teaching them I think is also a positive thing with that as well. So, but you know, I always I'm gonna come out and ask you know, if your kids followed your every move, would their life end up in a place you'd be proud of? You gotta ask yourself that, and if the answer is no, then something's got to change and you got to start something different.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so that's the big part at the end of the day, you are your family's main example of strength love and leadership. Yeah, and like don't get it twisted, like don't waste the privilege, don't waste the opportunity because it's you know it. Nothing kills me more than seeing those charts where it shows, like, the amount of time you have to spend with your kids as they get older. Yeah, man, talk about like a dagger in the heart seeing, seeing that. Take advantage of it, man.
Speaker 1:Time is not slow man, it goes fast.
Speaker 2:That's what I say the days go so slow, but the weeks and months go so fast. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know a couple things before we end it. Your family doesn't need a perfect man, they need a present one. They don't need a millionaire. They need a protector, a provider and a guide and always be present. Like what you said you got home from being out of town, you went right to playing Legos. There's a lot of fathers out there that don't do that. So kudos to you because you are setting the example and I look up to you, for you know the family part.
Speaker 2:So yeah, yeah, it's the last thing that I'll say and it's it's become like a famous conversation on social media, but it's when you, when you think about parenting and looking back on the way we were raised and you know, obviously all of us want to do things a little bit different than the way that we were, than what we were raised yeah, but when you come to terms with the fact that your parents were just doing the best they could at the time, with the information that they had right. So no, none of our parents were perfect.
Speaker 2:We're not perfect, but so, like understanding as you go through it, like I'm making the best decisions I can with what I know in this moment, my parents were doing the same thing, whether I liked it or not, and even looking back on it now like that's what it was, like there's, there's no reason for people to hold on to those grudges and a lot of people have been through horrible things growing up but just knowing where they were in those situations and being able to do them differently and better, like that's the main part.
Speaker 1:For sure, that's it. That is it. Quick and easy, we're out of here. See ya, thank you.
